Ghostbusters July 6, 1983 Draft

The Ghostbusters July 6, 1983 Draft is a collaborative draft of Ghostbusters by Harold Ramis and Dan Aykroyd.

Overview[]

The July 6, 1983 draft contains the general premise of the final movie version - Peter Venkman is the first to appear but he's meeting with the university funding committee, rather than conducting the ESP test in later drafts and the movie, the Ghostbusters are kicked out of college, go into business, Ray buys a Cadillac but it is a 1975 model, and the business takes off Dana Barrett goes to them for help and they get a call to the Sedgewick Hotel. However, Winston Zeddemore is already hired, a Proton Pack test is show, the romance between Egon and Janine is more overt, and Winston is part of the Sedgewick bust. He ends up getting slimed at the bust. The montage includes more famous journalists and different busts. The Fort Detmerring case is in the draft. Egon interviews the possessed Louis. Peck has the Containment Unit shut down but the Ghostbusters are not arrested and immediately go see Mayor Lenny to let them try to stop Gozer. The ending comes with an epilogue fast forwarding to Ghostbusters being a highly successful multinational corporation now called Ghostbusters International, Egon and Janine getting married, Ray returning to Fort Detmerring, Winston arrived at headquarters in a limo and fancy business suit, and Peter and Dana hanging out at her apartment, in the midst of repairs.

Differences and Similarities[]

Combined with notes in Making Ghostbusters and notes from Lawrence Duane given to Spook Central on June 13, 2020.
On pages 6-8, Peter Venkman appeared before a university funding committee. Dean Yeager was up for a Nobel in Stockholm the previous week but didn't win. He presents research done so far: structural damage to a house caused by unknown hyperkinetic forces in a poltergeist incident in Vermont, rashes, bites and welts from a case they studied in Northern Quebec, a double exposure of a Polaroid photo showing people who were not there, a bent spoon. He reveals they are convinced that such events are about to increase to seriously uncomfortable proportions. He shines a pocket flashlight on his own face, providing spooky lighting and begs the question of will the world be ready.^[1]
- In the movie, Peter's ESP test replaces this scene.
On page 15, after fleeing from the library, a drug dealer tries to sell them dope but Egon misunderstands him, reaches in his pocket and gives him a joint.
On page 16, back on campus, Peter comments on "Burn in hell" painted on the door as they walk into Weaver hall. They are kicked out by Dean Yeager.
On page 18, Peter, Ray, and Egon apply for a loan at the bank, speaking to the loan officer who asks for more details on their business. They describe the "proton packs" and "Nutrona Wands."
- In the movie, the meeting is not shown and only Peter, Ray, and Egon are shown leaving the bank.
On page 21-22, they look at the firehouse with a realtor. They have a longer discussion about the business. Ray tests the pole.
On page 24, Dana is alarmed by the eggs cooking on the counter and she sees a "gate to hell" in her refrigerator. She slams the door and the kitchen has gone back to normal. The eggs are back in the container, everything seems fine. She re-opens the refrigerator cautiously and it is back to normal. She leaves the kitchen and every metal utensil and appliance flies toward the refrigerator door.
- In the movie, the cooked eggs remain on the counter.
On page 25, the exterior of the firehouse is being painted flat black and a sign that looks like the "international no symbol with Casper the friendly ghost in it." Janine is introduced in this scene as Egon sets up audio equipment near her. Peter hands over multiple local newspapers to Janine with the Ghostbusters' full-page "help wanted" ads in them. "Comedic Ad to come" is written in the script. Egon says flatly, "This is amusing" and Peter says "control yourself, Egon."
On page 25-26, Ray arrives with a a blue and white, 1975 Cadillac Full Formal Excelsior Ambulance that he bought for $600.
- In the movie, Ray arrives with a black Miller-Meteor Futura Ambulance/Hearse Combination mounted on a 1959 Cadillac Fleetwood Professional Chassis.
On page 26, Winston enters right after Ray drives in with the car, saying he's here for the security detail job that was in the paper.
- In the movie, Winston answers the ad after the first montage.
On page 27, Winston is interviewed by Peter only who says he's over-qualified for the job given his extensive credentials in the military.
- In the movie, Winston is interviewed by Janine.
On pages 28-29, Egon works in the lab while Ray, Peter, and Winston play cards in the living quarters.
On page 30, Janine leaves for the night and flirts with Egon a bit. Peter jokes around with them.
On pages 31-32, a test run of the Proton Packs was conducted when Egon Spengler plugged the Proton Pack prototype into an AC outlet in the Firehouse. The pack heated up to 550 degrees and the resulting surge melted the outlet then caused a downtown blackout.^[2]
On page 35-36, Dana arrived and talked to Janine, Janine called Peter and he interviewed Dana alone about the refrigerator incident. Mid-interview, the scene transitioned to Peter and Dana in her apartment conducting an investigation.
- In the movie, Dana is interviewed by Peter, Egon, and Ray on the second floor.
On pages 41-42, the Ghostbusters ate Chinese take out. Egon finished Proton Pack Mark II. This version is portable and has no plug like the Mark I. Egon assures them it is safe, it only shoots 12 feet and won't harm anything but ecto-plasm. He demonstrated use of the pack. It ended up shooting out over 25 feet, blasting a hole in the wall and knocking him over.
On pages 43-44, the Sedgewick Hotel Manager ate a sandwich at his desk in the basement. Keys on the rack began to move on their own.
On pages 44-46, a newlywed couple argue about a loud retching sound post-coitus. Suddenly, a loud pounding on the wall happened, causing the groom to go to the bathroom where he sees a "yellow blur" in the mirror. They called the front desk to complain about the odor and slimy mess in the bathroom. At the same exact moment, a "foul yellow vapor" flew out of the bathroom and they ran off.
- This became the Ghostbusters (Deleted Scene): Honeymooners.
On page 47, Janine gets the call from the Hotel Manager, very close to what happens in the final film, and the Ghostbusters take off for the hotel. The "Urine-Yellow vapor" chased a maid and waiter in a hallway at the Sedgewick.
On page 48, the Ghostbusters enter the hotel, meet the Hotel Manager almost exactly like in the final. They all ride the elevator up together up to the 12th floor. Immediately after the elevator doors opened, they immediately saw the yellow vapor.
- In the movie, the Ghostbusters encounter a Chambermaid after exiting the elevator.
On pages 49-53, the Ghostbusters confront the vapor in the hallway. Winston and Egon are on one side, Ray and Peter on the other. It slimed Peter a little bit. They all have "ecto-visors" and went into the ballroom chasing after it. They use their wands firing beams of energy forming a "trapezoidal configuration" to catch the vapor. Egon alerts them "Don't let 'em cross!!"
- In the movie, Ray confronts Slimer alone in a hallway and misses.
On pages 53-54 - The Ghostbusters exit the Sedgewick and are greeted by reporters. They answered questions for the news media. The scene is similar to the two chopped up scenes in Chapter 14: Welcome Aboard. Peter ad Ray sing a jingle to news cameras that ends with "Who do you call? Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!" It kicks off the Montage of all four of them busting ghosts.
On pages 56-57, post-montage, all four Ghostbusters returned to the Firehouse covered in slime, complaining about the heavy workload and have multiple loaded traps.
- In the movie, only Ray and Peter return to the Firehouse covered in slime. Ray talks about how he needs sleep. Peter agrees he looks terrible.
On pages 60-61, Ray and Winston deposited all the traps in the storage facility. The unit had multiple slots and an actual protection grid around it. Egon is asked how it is holding up while he worked on repairing the damaged packs and wands. Using a view screen, they looked into the storage facility and see all the ghosts and vapors flying around which is described as "an unholy makeshift asylum." Winston comments how depressing it is.
- In the movie, Ray teaches Winston how to deposit the trap into the unit, with one slot and no view monitor.
On pages 63-64, the two "Bums" commented on the growing atmospheric light-cloud forming above Dana's apartment building. This scene came after the one with her in the armchair getting taken into the kitchen by force.
On pages 65-69, a "Creature" (what eventually is labeled the Terror dog) races out of Dana's apartment. The two bums tried to fight off some small dogs for food in an alley when the "creature" confronts them. The doorman from Dana's apartment and two cops shoot at the Creature, which runs away. The creature jumps on the hood of a taxi cab. The driver honks and curses and the creature runs off into Central Park.
- In the August draft, the Vinz Clortho Terror Dog jumps on the hood of a taxi that Louis jumps into. The driver curses at it and drives off but it chased. The driver throws Louis out and he runs into Central Park.
On page 69, Dana/Zuul asked Peter if he's "The Minion". She says she's "The Gatekeeper" looking for the "Minion of Gozer."
On page 71, the "Creature" is now referred to as a "Terror Dog" for the first time in the script. The two bums run into it again as they leave the subway at Columbus and 78th. They discuss a karate vs boxing fight similar to Ghostbusters (Deleted Scene): Bums.
On page 72 is the introduction of Louis Tully/Tulley (spelled both ways in the script). Louis Tully is a visiting conventioneer who got possessed.^[3] He is described as being "a large man" outside "the most popular new disco in the city". He pleads with the bouncer to let him into the club but is denied.
On page 73-74, Louis is relieving himself in an alley behind the club. The "Terror Dog" confronts him. Off screen we hear a scuffle then Louis stumbles out of the alley, clearly possessed. He passes two pedestrians and announces he is "Vinz Clortho, minion of Gozer the Gozerian, Lord of the Sebouillias." He asks if they are the Gate-Keepers.
On page 74, Peter takes Dana/Zuul on a date. They walk toward a restaurant and Dana/Zuul comments on the city. They enter a restaurant and sit down. As they are seated, men in the restaurant ogle Zuul which makes Peter uncomfortable. He orders them dinner: veal and white wine.
On page 76, Louis/Vinz enters the same restaurant. Louis doesn't cross paths and Peter nor Dana/Zuul make reference to Louis. Louis/Vinz argues with Maitre D' who denies him a table when Vinz asks if he's the "keeper of the first portal". He gets frustrated during the argument and lets out an unearthly roar, covering the Maitre D' in slime.
On page 79, Dana/Zuul and Peter see a horse and carriage as they walk back to her apartment post-dinner. Zuul feels sorry for the horse and kisses it compassionately. They go back to Dana's apartment and Peter tries to calm her down in bed (as in the final movie). He is able to hypnotize her and in this version, Peter is actually able to talk to Dana. He tells her she's having a psychotic break and that she will go sleep on his command. Peter gets her to fall asleep and leaves her room. After he leaves, she begins to levitate.
- In the movie, Peter uses Thorazine off screen to knock Dana/Zuul out.
On page 81, Fort Detmerring Scene: more or less exactly as it is Ghostbusters (Deleted Scene): Pulling Up To Fort Detmerring and Ghostbusters (Deleted Scene): The Fort Detmerring Ghost.
On pages 85-86, the police drop off Louis/Vinz to Egon. Only Egon interrogates him and runs polygraph and blood tests. Egon offers to share a dehydrated food based meal with Vinz and says, "Yes, I would."
- In the movie, Egon and Janine interview Louis/Vinz on the second floor. She offers him coffee and he repeats after Egon with, "Yes, have some."
On page 88, Winston and Ray leave the Fort and discuss what happened. Ray says he's in love.
On pages 91-92, Peck shuts down the protection grid around the storage facility. It blows up more or less exactly as in the final film.
On page 95, Ray and Winston are driving back in the "Ecto-One" and see a fire trucks driving towards a huge column of energy shooting out of a building by the river. They realize it's the Firehouse, flip on the lights and siren and race after the firetrucks.
On page 96, Ray and Winston arrive outside the firehouse and talk with everyone. They meet Louis/Vinz. Vinz mentions he's looking for "the Gatekeeper" which rings a bell for Peter and as he starts to question him but Peck and the Police Chief come over to arrest them. Before the Ghostbusters are read their Miranda Rights, a lieutenant comes over and alerts them that the Mayor has requested they come to City Hall because "the whole island is going crazy."
- In the movie, Louis/Vinz declares "This is it, this is the sign," then wanders off. Egon attacks Peck after he accuses them of the explosion and they are arrested and taken to jail. Some time later, the Jail Guard informs them the Mayor wants to see them.
On pages 97-101, as the Ghostbusters leave to meet with the Mayor a montage kicks in. Vinz leaves the Firehouse in a crowd, following the flow of the energy/ghosts pulsing out the Firehouse. The Zombie Taxi Driver scene, a model walks on a runway and her Mink Coat has four rodent heads pop out of it, an "invisible molester" ghost torments women in an office building lifting their skirts and opening their blouses, and the "gluttonous onion-headed vapor from the Sedgewick pops out of a hot dog vendor's cart. An audience watches a 3D movie, the films breaks, they get rowdy and then a bunch of "phantasms" fly through the air, and the audience applauds. The Ghostbusters enter the Mayor's office.
On pages 105-106, after the Mayor dismisses Peck the next scene is the Ghostbusters giving a presentation to the Mayor with a large map full of pins showing all the hauntings they've been dealing with and how they line up. They discuss Vinz and Peter connects the dots for them about Dana and the Gatekeeper.
- The Mink Coat is used in Ghostbusters II.
On pages 107-108, Vinz arrives at Dana's apartment building at 78th and Riverside. The pavement cracks in two beneath him as he walks towards it. The building shakes, tenants run out, he rides the elevator as the numbers light up randomly and glass shatters. He gets off at Dana's floor and walks to her door. It ends on him knocking three times.
- In the movie, the apartment is on Central Park West. Nothing happens as Louis enters the building or uses the elevator.
In the epilogue at the end of the movie, the Ghostbusters became Ghostbusters International, a high rolling multinational corporation. Egon and Janine married in Las Vegas with Louis as their witness, Ray paid another visit to Fort Detmerring, Winston arrived at headquarters in a limo, and Peter and Dana hung out at her apartment, in the midst of repairs, as a baby chick hatched out of an egg in the kitchen.^[4]

Trivia[]

External Links[]

Excerpts of the July 6, 1983 draft can be read at Spook Central in the Ghostbusters script section.

References[]

↑ Shay, Don (November 1985). Making Ghostbusters, p. 22. New York Zoetrope, New York NY USA, ISBN 0918432685. Paragraph reads: "Though present -- in somewhat differing form -- in all three of the early Aykroyd-Ramis collaborations, Venkman's appearance before a university funding committee was ultimately scratched in favor of the ESP testing sequence. In the July and August drafts, the opening segment with the screaming librarian cut directly to her apparent point of view -- in actuality a ceremonial demon mask being used by Venkman as a visual aid..."
↑ Shay, Don (November 1985). Making Ghostbusters, p. 68 annotation. New York Zoetrope, New York NY USA, ISBN 0918432685. Paragraph reads: "In the July and August drafts, Spengler conducts an early demonstration of the experimental ghostbusting equipment for his comrades at the firehall. Since the self-contained unit is still under development, the existing prototype is plugged into an AC outlet. An audible surge of power runs from the wall socket along the extension cord to the power pack on Spengler's back. The pack heats up to 550 degrees and kicks the electrical surge back down the wire to the wall outlet which melts. At once, all the lights in the room black out. Compounding the gag, the action then cuts to an exterior of the firehouse as all the lights in and on the building go out, as does the street lamp and the stoplight at the corner. Then the action cuts once again to a long shot of downtown office buildings as they all black out in rapid succession, leaving dark silhouettes against the night sky."
↑ Shay, Don (November 1985). Making Ghostbusters, p. 126 annotation. New York Zoetrope, New York NY USA, ISBN 0918432685. Paragraph reads: "Later in the July draft, Louis Tully -- then a visiting conventioneer, also possessed -- enters the same restaurant..."
↑ Shay, Don (November 1985). Making Ghostbusters, p. 203 annotation. New York Zoetrope, New York NY USA, ISBN 0918432685. Paragraph reads: "Alternate endings in earlier drafts included scenes within the towering glass and chrome headquarters of Ghostbusters International - now a high-rolling multinational corporation "recognized everywhere as the first line of defense against interdimensional trespassers." The July draft even attempted to wrap up the romantic loose ends. Venkman and Dana set up housekeeping, Spengler and Janine are married, and Stantz returns to Fort Detmerring for spiritual renewal."

Gallery[]

Draft[]

[1] Shay, Don (November 1985). Making Ghostbusters, p. 22. New York Zoetrope, New York NY USA, ISBN 0918432685. Paragraph reads: "Though present -- in somewhat differing form -- in all three of the early Aykroyd-Ramis collaborations, Venkman's appearance before a university funding committee was ultimately scratched in favor of the ESP testing sequence. In the July and August drafts, the opening segment with the screaming librarian cut directly to her apparent point of view -- in actuality a ceremonial demon mask being used by Venkman as a visual aid..."

[2] Shay, Don (November 1985). Making Ghostbusters, p. 68 annotation. New York Zoetrope, New York NY USA, ISBN 0918432685. Paragraph reads: "In the July and August drafts, Spengler conducts an early demonstration of the experimental ghostbusting equipment for his comrades at the firehall. Since the self-contained unit is still under development, the existing prototype is plugged into an AC outlet. An audible surge of power runs from the wall socket along the extension cord to the power pack on Spengler's back. The pack heats up to 550 degrees and kicks the electrical surge back down the wire to the wall outlet which melts. At once, all the lights in the room black out. Compounding the gag, the action then cuts to an exterior of the firehouse as all the lights in and on the building go out, as does the street lamp and the stoplight at the corner. Then the action cuts once again to a long shot of downtown office buildings as they all black out in rapid succession, leaving dark silhouettes against the night sky."

[3] Shay, Don (November 1985). Making Ghostbusters, p. 126 annotation. New York Zoetrope, New York NY USA, ISBN 0918432685. Paragraph reads: "Later in the July draft, Louis Tully -- then a visiting conventioneer, also possessed -- enters the same restaurant..."

[4] Shay, Don (November 1985). Making Ghostbusters, p. 203 annotation. New York Zoetrope, New York NY USA, ISBN 0918432685. Paragraph reads: "Alternate endings in earlier drafts included scenes within the towering glass and chrome headquarters of Ghostbusters International - now a high-rolling multinational corporation "recognized everywhere as the first line of defense against interdimensional trespassers." The July draft even attempted to wrap up the romantic loose ends. Venkman and Dana set up housekeeping, Spengler and Janine are married, and Stantz returns to Fort Detmerring for spiritual renewal."

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